Like Stubbing My Toe…
I don’t know why I had a dream about him and his daughter well over 2 or 3 months ago, but I did. He was my college homie turned boyfriend. PAUSE ~ No seriously we were only friends and nothing more for years and then one day we went for drinks and something clicked. It was on and poppin’ after that. That is of course until it ended. He couldn’t handle ME and grad school. Like I’ve said before, sometimes pressure busts pipes and sometimes it makes diamonds. I have a history of floods and busted pipes! PLAY ~ Although...
read moreSuspended
Commitment. Loyalty. Faithfulness. Sticktoitiveness. I am dedicated and sometimes it’s to a fault. When I give, I give my all. And I don’t always know when to stop giving and take a look around to see if I’m still receiving. I get so caught up in MY commitment and doing MY part that I lose focus on what I need and deserve… until my emotions start speaking to me. And lately, my inner voices and emotions have been screaming! He disconnected. He is facing an extraordinary amount of difficulty in his life. Honestly, if I...
read moreI Can’t Breathe…
Relationships seem to start off with such clarity. We communicate, we understand, we make promises and we give the other person glimpses of our whole character (which is in hiding). The “real” you is in hiding for a various reasons. Sometimes the real you will not show up until real life starts happening. PAUSE ~ Real life! You know what that is…when the REAL stuff hits the fan. I’m not saying that the good times are not REAL. It’s just that our true character seems to rear its head when things get rough. PLAY ~ So, you meet someone and...
read moreI Can Only Be Me…
I woke up this morning with an ease about me. I am ME! I can always be better, I will have some days on which I will be off, but I am me. Take it or leave it. And you know what? I like me! No, I LOVE ME. Stomach and all… I was on the phone last night with a friend who was going on about whom he perceives me to be. ”You have a very strong personality.” PAUSE ~ Yep! As a matter of fact I do! And I am pretty eloquent if given the opportunity to give you my well thought out opinion. I mean… what? Men always love...
read moreI Don’t Flinch
“When I’m alone in my room sometimes I stare at the wall and in the back of my mind I hear my conscience call. Tellin’ me I need a girl who’s as sweet as dove. For the first time in my life I see I need love…” ~ LL Cool J PAUSE~ Who knew LL was dropping gems like that way back when? And who knew that I’d be alone in my room staring at the wall 20 plus years later?! PLAY~ Lately, I find myself alone and deep in thought about who I am and what I want. Consistency… I miss it. It has not been easy...
read moreWhere’s Your Ring?
Not every woman, but most women want to share their lives with a significant other and live happily ever after. It is not always about the kids, the house with the white picket fence and the cars. For me it’s the thought of lifelong companionship with the one person on earth who gets you and can get “it” from you! PAUSE ~ I mean let’s be real, my best friend gets me and I ADORE her. There is definitely a difference in spending time with my bestie and spending time with my man… who gets me, but then he also...
read moreSunshine Sets
BEEEEEEEEEEEP…. This text just in. “PSM, I am engaged to get married. I wanted to call you and tell you, but after I told her about what happened between me and you awhile back, she asked if I would refrain from speaking to you. I rather you hear it from me than someone else…I apologize for any pain or strife I’ve caused you within our journey. With all the pain we experienced together, loving you made it worth it.” PAUSE ~ WOW!!! Okay, let me gather my thoughts… What am I feeling? There is no emotion. ...
read moreUnder My Control
Hey! I miss you sooo much! There are things that have happened over the last few weeks that I would normally have a field day with on this blog, but… Here’s the scoop. You know I write anonymously – for the most part. There are a few people who know who I am and all of them do not have my best interest at heart. It is kind of difficult to write about my intimate feelings and life when I know the haters are lurking. My mother always says, “PSM, don’t allow people to change who you are.” I try not to,...
read moreI’m Committed to Being the Best Me
I made a mistake. I was out of line and it is not the first time. I have made numerous mistakes in the past. My logical mind reminds me that once something is said or done; there is no taking it back. If I deem what was said or done a mistake — an error — all I can do is work to rectify the damage done, learn from it and not make the same mistake again. Unfortunately, I have a history of beating myself up for things I cannot change. I dwell on the past and constantly ask myself how things would be if I hadn’t made the mistake. A waste...
read moreYou Can’t Make Everyone Happy
“You can’t make all of the people happy all of the time.” I remind myself of that every day. I know we (especially women of color) walk around trying to convince ourselves that we “don’t care what nobody thinks”, but is that really true? If it were, we wouldn’t spend so much time trying to perfect ourselves. I’m not saying that our desire to be better isn’t self motivated, but there is a piece of each and every one of us that truly cares about what others think. Now, it may not be EVERY...
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Take a Walk with Me
Just Me
I've been told that I'm a little sassy, honest – to a fault, emotional and full of personality. I believe I'm just very passionate about my thoughts. So, I share them… for my sake and maybe yours.
This blog is a home for my thoughts and my heart. It's a sounding board for the daily conversations I have with myself.
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