Hijacking People’s Days…
I remember telling a friend that I had called an ex-boyfriend to say hello. He sounded happy to hear from me and I was happy to hear his voice. His heart had to be racing; mine was as soon as we moved pass the initial, “Hi. This is PSM, did I catch you at a bad time?” The sound of his voice, his cadence, his phrasing was so familiar. Years of emotions flashed through my mind, into my heart and across my face in a ridiculous smile. My friend, after telling her about my phone escapade, said “So, you’re just hijacking people’s days, huh?”...
read moreOn Your Marks, Get Set, Go!
I’ve been moving. Forward. It’s the way to move, right? But this forward movement leaves some prominent pieces in my life behind. And I’m scared. When I took the first step, I felt like I was in a 500 yard dash. “On your marks… Get set… Go!” The gun in my head went off and I jolted out into a race that I’ve not been in for a while. Single. My friends were running besides me. Parties, dinners, drinks, dancing, flirting, shopping, lunches, drinks, laughing, movies, brunches, drinks, conversations,...
read moreI Wish I Could Just Erase Him…
Hi!!! Where have you been?? Just kidding! I know I am the one who has been missing in action. Truth is, I’ve been traveling a bit and then I was sick for a minute. ~PAUSE~ I know some of you are saying “SO! That never stopped you before.” True. ~PLAY~ Anyway, let’s get right to it. I was just talking with a friend who was venting about a guy she slept with. They were secretly getting it on for a few weeks and without any concrete reason or warning they just stopped. “Can you believe I still have not heard from him?” (Note: she hasn’t...
read moreChanges…
I’ve sat down on several occasions to write and… nothing. I’ve had little snippets of thoughts that I wanted to share, but it really wasn’t enough for a full entry. So today I searched Spotify for one of the greatest, Tracy Chapman, hit play and zoned out; desperate for inspiration. Truth is Tracy Chapman’s music—her voice and that acoustic guitar—has centered me since I was a young girl. I’ve always been an introspective person… in love with words and their impact. And fearful… of words and their impact. I think the fear of words is...
read moreTo The Ones I’ve Loved…
They say that true love never dies… Or maybe in time you realize that love wasn’t love at all. I’ve experienced both. Yes, I still love and care for one or two of the men I loved in my past. ~PAUSE~ And then there are those whose misfortune would make me sad and I would be hurt if I learned they experienced something bad or harmful, but love is so far removed. Like, I am surprised I ever told them I loved them. I really thought I did when I said it. But things change and so did my feelings. ~PLAY~ Nevertheless, there is an undying love that I...
read moreWhat Works For You…
We should all take the time to decide what is or is not a priority to us as individuals. There is no collective reasoning concerning what YOUR priorities are. What is most important to you may be of no importance to others. ~ PAUSE ~ Your friends’ opinions can’t really help you here. Sometimes you gotta stand on your own! ~PLAY~ It sounds easy, but it is difficult to rid your mind of the outside world’s influence and really take your life, emotions, needs and wants into consideration. You’ll find some of the demands...
read moreLive and Dream…
Sometimes life gets in the way and I forget how important my dreams are. I’m so focused on living that I forget to dream. ~ PAUSE ~ Truthfully, some of what I’m living was once a dream. And I would not be living this life had I not dreamed of it. And there are parts of my life that I could have never imagined. My life… dreams realized and a reality that I never dreamed. ~ PLAY ~ I have had endless dreams of MY kind of love. I’ve actually experienced snippets of it from time-to-time. The good memories are infectious and...
read moreA Birthday Gift…
Lately I’ve had so many thoughts, but for some reason I have not been able to write about them. When I put my emotions into words they are immediately more real than they were when they were just a feeling. Don’t get me wrong, my feelings are very valid, but expressing them requires acceptance and awareness. I recently celebrated a birthday. The best gift I received was from my father. ~PAUSE~ I know right?! Those of you who have been reading my blog for a while know that the relationship I have with my father is strained. It has been for...
read morePeace, My First Love…
I must have been about 12 maybe 13 years old when I fell in love for the first time. He was from Brooklyn. I was from Queens. I used to visit my cousins on the weekends and he lived around the corner. He was somewhat quiet, but always had a joke on the low. There was a calm about him that I was drawn to. He was a year or two older than me. And I loved his maturity. I’m not saying he was mature because he was older than me; he was mature because he just seemed to be very observant. Like an innocent by stander, he witnessed the streets of...
read moreDream Catcher…
I wasn’t going to write this entry. I didn’t believe the memory deserved my head space or the time that I’m now taking to write it. But then I remembered why I write. With the stroke of a few keys, it becomes therapeutic for me and it sometimes inspires others. So here it goes… I remember an ex professing his love via text. “I’m in love with you. I would stop everything to be with you, if you wanted,” he wrote… and he’s married. Now, work with me. I am dead against messing with another...
read more