Not every woman, but most women want to share their lives with a significant other and live happily ever after. It is not always about the kids, the house with the white picket fence and the cars. For me it’s the thought of lifelong companionship with the one person on earth who gets you and can get “it” from you! PAUSE ~ I mean let’s be real, my best friend gets me and I ADORE her. There is definitely a difference in spending time with my bestie and spending time with my man… who gets me, but then he also GETS to have ME! You know what I am saying. There is something to be said for a relationship that is built on friendship and honesty and then you add attraction, lust and love! HOT DAMN! PLAY~ Anyway, as a woman, when a friend or co-worker gets engaged, I am always very happy for them. It is a big deal for a man and a woman to decide that they want to commitment (what they believe will be the rest of their lives) to one another and stand in front of friends, family and a higher power and profess their love. It’s major! I have never been one to secretly hate and wonder “Why her? Why not me?” That’s just not my style. I believe it will happen for me at the very moment it’s supposed to happen. Truthfully, it makes me sick when I hear other women hating on others who were blessed with a life mate before them. Girl, your time will come…
Which brings me to this… I was with a lady I know about a month ago. She has been engaged for quite a few months. Totally happy; or so I thought. During our conversation she eluded to the fact that she just might be taking her ring off and ending the engagement. Why? That’s not important… I was surprised when she said it, but recognized that all relationships have challenges and maybe she was just going through a rough time. Fast forward… I was with her the other day and I happened to look at her hand and noticed that her beautiful engagement ring was gone! My heart sank for her, but I didn’t say a word. It just wasn’t my place. I was saddened at the thought of her pain. Imagine finding the man of your dreams and planning your life with him only to have a change of plans. It doesn’t really matter why, or when or how. There has been a change of hearts; a moment of “maybe not” and if you are truly vested, the change will hurt. I’ve been thinking of the disappointment she has probably been feeling and that fact that she seems so “okay”. I hope she isn’t suffering. And imagine her discomfort every time someone notices and says, “Where’s your ring?”. Sigh…
The truth is, we never know where life and love will take us. Things happen, and after all change is the only constant. We make all these plans and then life happens. I just want to impress upon you the importance of finding peace and strength within yourself. I know all too well how lonely it is when all of your friends are married and having children and you don’t even have a man. I know how lonely it is to be with a man who is there physically, but mentally, he’s just not with you. I know the how hard it is to balance being overjoyed with the developments in your friends lives, but deeply saddened at yet another failed relationship. I know what it is to look in the mirror and demand strength from yourself because depression and hopelessness are not an option.
My girl Jill Scott says it best…
Moving forward, pressing onward, striving further
Keep on laughing, keep on living, keep on loving
Keep on dreaming keep on achieving, keep on believing
I keep smiling when I come thru …and I cry when I need too.
I keep… don’t you stop!